Born With Masks And Bred To Lie

by Tim Hawthorn



Quirky, semi-autobiographical collection of early demos from the early 90s. Variable sound quality.


released May 23, 1992



all rights reserved


Tim Hawthorn Glastonbury, UK

Singer - songwriter
Elder Bard of Ynys Witrin
Silver on the Tree
Avalonian Free State Choir
Invisible Opera
The Silver Twiglets
The Archetypes

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Track Name: Mayday
I've got to break out of this shell
And find a way for me to stay alive
There's so much more I've got to learn
If I can help this planet to survive
Like why you make the air you breathe
So full of dirt and poison
Let your leaders tread on you
And tie your planet up in confusion

Help me please, I need someone
Help me please, hear my song
Help me please, I need a clue
Help me please, because I need someone to help me through

I think that I have found a way
To free me from the sentence of this tragedy
Fate has laid across my path
A source of cups of tea and friendly empathy
They seem to have a fair idea
Of things I need to help me in my plight
Their ways are rather primitive
But I think that hey can help me in my fight

I've found an answer to my problems
That should keep me going for a few days
I know it's rather basic but at least
There's some protection in this disguise
I could repair my eggshell
Just to have some means to get around
Galactic laws or not I must help the people
Living on this world I've found
Track Name: Mad Mary
All her neighbours are out to get her
She'll phone the Embassy or maybe write a letter
Her own doctor's tried to put her away
And all her neighbours just shake their heads
And say:

Mad Mary, you've got it all wrong
The institution's where you belong
Mad Mary you're all screwed up
So busy accusing, why don't you shut up!

There are loads of bills that she'll never pay
Because she is a citizen of the US of A
They came and locked her in a prison cell
You can bet she'll give the man in the Embassy hell!

They use her garden as a rubbish tip
They think she's on vacation in the land of flip
They think she's raving but she only takes the piss
When she stands at her front door and shouts
"Anyone for tennis?"
Track Name: Name
When I was at school
My teacher taught me how to write in a major key
One, Four, Five
It's so good to be half alive
When I was at school
My teacher taught me all about the LCD
Divide and rule
So I decided to become a fool

When I was at school
I used to watch people carry plastic bags to and fro
And I used to think
And I used to wonder, where do they go?
I'd watch the people on TV
And I would wonder too
If they were just actors
Or if they were real like me and you

Did they ever notice
Or were they just the same
Or am I the only actor
In this most peculiar game?
Track Name: Alison
When you asked me if I loved you
I could never tell
But I did what I was meant to
And I said that I loved you as well
But I never really knew
Cos I couldn't feel a thing

O Alison ...

I read you fairytales
And you showed me your flowers
We thought that it would never end
But it went on for hours
And I'll never stop loving you ...

Then I left you for another girl
And she tried to push my body through the wall
And she bent me up
Like one of her junk market rings
But it never really hurt
Cos I couldn't feel a thing ...

And I'll never stop loving you
Even if you can't bear to see my face
And I'll never stop loving anyone
This my joy and my disgrace
And here I sit with nothing but the shadows
To keep me company ...
Track Name: Sleepy Town
Concrete slabs all fill the air
No-one even seems to care
To change the things that pull them down
If you try to fight they just sit and frown
In Sleepy Town ...

No-one seems to know what to do
Everyone's just passing through
No-one ever seems to have the time
They say "I don't care, I'm doing fine
Till I leave Sleepy Town."

Everyone accepts the lies
The social chains and mental ties
To other slaves they place the blame
And praise the makers of their pain
In Sleepy Town

Empty blocks of new prestige
Wait for the new computer age
Thousands still can't make ends meet
And statistics all they're given to eat
In Sleepy Town, Lay down.

Keep your nose to the grindstone
Don't take any notice
Keep your head down
Mind your own business ...
Track Name: 8:10
Ten past eight I catch the train
Takes me into town again
Take some time to clear my head
Wonder why I didn't stay in bed

Take the cab to my resting place
A grey tombstone without a face
Rising through the clouds so high
Encroaching on heaven above the sky

Feeding pigeons in the park
The hours drag on until it's dark
Walk past work to pass the time
Tell old friends that I'm doing fine

Watch a film in the afternoon
Charing Cross at 6pm
Back to family at home
Still can't tell them that he jobs have gone.
Track Name: When The Sky Falls In
Watcha gonna do when the sky falls in
And the world don't seem so welcoming?

You fill your face with so much crap
And too many reasons why you can't give it up
You wonder why you're a nervous wreck
When you're living on coffee and cigarettes
You give service with a twisted lip
Make love with a twisted hip
Spend all day at the bedroom mirror
Destroying more ozone with every persona

Beneath it all there's a thread that binds us
In the deep dark depths it finds us
Down in the cave in the back of our minds
Show me all that I can understand

Oh baby lets snuggle up in my bed
Pull the covers overhead, never stop until we're dead
And forget about everything
Track Name: Snaggeroo
It was my twenty-third healing crisis
I thought you were a priestess of Isis
I wanted to tear breakfast cereal packets
You wanted to play tennis with racquets
You drank wine, I drank Valerian tea
I thought it was all a play written for me
I bought you sheets of raffia gauze
But you said "Wait a minute!"

A pause

For thought, Pete's Mafia clause
And the thirteenth grail chalice upturned on the floor

Winter passed and summer met
Again you paused for thought, but couldn't recollect
Maybe you were really a priestess of Sekhmet
I was Jesus, Arthur, Merlin too
You were Mary Magdalene saying we were through
I was the devil's advocate starting another fashion
You were my succubus, stealing fruitless passion
You were my broken cup, the teapot on your lap
You couldn't get away fast enough, your temper had to snap
You said you couldn't listen to any more of my crap
I was the Third Reich, burning into hell
One flew over the cuckoo's nest and shat on it as well
I was twenty-three, snaggeroo and starting to smell
Track Name: Jealousy
Many things about you have a way to wind me up
But there's so many other things that I quite like
Many things just slip like water from my back
But there's one thing that I just can't hack

Jealousy, seeps into open wounds like poison
Jealousy, tearing us apart for no reason
Jealousy, it's a waste of time
Jealousy, you have yours and I'll have mine

So much time I spent when I feel fine
Then I start to wonder if you're having a much better time
I try to reason and accept my fate
But that's not quite so easy when your stomach's full of hate
Track Name: Nervous
Your face, of a kind, is etched in my mind; or maybe that's my illusion
Can you hear me when I speak in the dark, or am I just compounding my confusion?
So many expectations, so little time, so many rumours on the grapevine
Sometimes I feel like I'm asking for more than my fair share, but I want more ...

And people say I should know my place, they say you keep a dagger just beneath the surface
And people say that I should beware, but I'd rather be in pain than in blank despair
And the pathways through my skull you carve I'll hold up proud like battle scars
Maybe if I get you out of my mind, you'll come walking round the corner feeling similarly inclined

Maybe it's just infatuation, maybe the intensity of the situation
Maybe I've got ideas above my station
You make me nervous, can't you see me shaking?

Maybe it's just fascination, I want to know where you get your determination
Should I take the twinkle in your eye as a sign of your intention?
You make me nervous with anticipation

People say that you're not my kind, you'd wind me up when I want to unwind
But I've got this idea stuck in my mind
You make me nervous and it feels so fine
Track Name: White Horse
There's a young traveller that everyone knows
With bells round her ankle and a ring through her nose
She rolls up a Rizla of dubious kind
And settles back comfortably to blow her mind
And if you look carefully you'll see her stare
For she can see things that make others too scared
She looks in the darkness and picks out the sparks
That give her the courage to make a new start

She rides on the horses with backs that are bare
With a tear in her eyes and dreads in her hair
She'll lean on the stable door till it won't hold
She knows you can't make her and she won't be told
Away with the wild women, all on the run
She won't pay the Poll Tax, left Dad with her son
She dreams of a lifestyle where everything's free
And sits by the fireside to tell her story

There's a white horse that my grandmother knows
Who rides on the hilltop yet nowhere she goes
And down by the sea she comes in with the foam
Bringing proud Celtic warriors in on the storm
And if you look carefully you'll see her there
For she's the protectress of all who take care
Take care of the forests and dark dingly dells
Where dwell the secrets that keep this world well.
Track Name: Hollow Hills
Down in the hollow hills there's strange kind of still
There's a man who's playing his part in the universal will
He's looking for the secret to guide the rest of the known world
But when he asks his price he knows it cannot be sold

Down in the hollow hills there's a treasure of memory
And there on the hillsides our footsteps sing out an old melody
You can hear in the whispers the wind and its high ancient harmony
They're singing the song of our souls and our long distant family

Down in the hollow hills there's a message there still
The hunter she sniffs on the breeze for a scent of her kill
She's hunting for justice, her quarry is truth
But her price has gone down quite a bit since the days of her youth
Track Name: Closed
Metal box, knees knock
No light, no breath
Corridor's length, tobacco stench
No-one smiles, never see the sky
No-one stops to wonder why

Motor charge, motor charge
Alien chassis looming large
Headlights dazzle, windscreen slice
Tarmac wet, shines like ice
Skin like paper, flesh like bone
Someone's daddy didn't make it home

Slow decay, slow decay
Never see the light of day
Zombie trees just wither away
Shuffle past, got nothing to say

There is no way out of this picture
At the bottom of the staircase there is nothing but a wall
At the end of the river there is nothing but a fall
That road don't lead nowhere and the sun it never sets
Those people aren't relaxing, they're just sitting there depressed
Track Name: Fashion
We must have dreamed this all up the last time we were here
The high-rise blocks the streets of fear
The science-fiction fantasy, brave new world
Everyone is equal and up to be sold

High heeled Dionysus comes to purge us of our sins
And Fohat whispers secrets on the breath of the North Wind
The ancients of Lemuria have put us in a trance
And now the devil's asking if we'd like to join the dance

I saw a man on a TV screen; he lived and died and left nothing in between
I heard your voice as I fell asleep; the words don't make the sense I keep
These days it doesn't even happen in films; love burns in waste bins
And we shall dictate what you love and hate and call it fashion

Mr Atkins 1930s, down-town Maine had a dream to make the world great again
Building towns up to the sky; metal veins to ride and aerial spies
Ain't it funny how our dreams grow? Only sometimes I don't want to laugh
I know sometimes that it's just so with the best of intentions we built the reichstag
Track Name: I Want More
There's too much pain in everyone's lives
Too many secrets and too many lies
There's too much fear and not enough honesty
I want more than this for you and me

I want more than the sweet taste of your lips
I want more than the promise of your kiss
I want more than a tantalising memory
I want more than this

There's too much choosing out of someone else's lists
Too much time spent dreaming of what if
There's too many people facing barrels of a gun
I want more than this for everyone

I get so depressed I can't be bothered to scream
I wonder if this is another bad dream
Too much time I spend just wishing you were here
Too much time I spend just wanting you
Track Name: Avocado Girl
I was trying to squeeze through the crack in the wall
To escape from the family's gallery hall
You picked me up from the holes in the floor
And instructed me kindly on use of the door

You would have been a sweet blushing bride
But how could you handle my Jekyll and Hyde?
When the clouds in my memory begin to swirl
I will never forget you Avocado Girl

I showed you my demons but you just smiled and said
That it could be much worse we could all have been dead
And when the storm gathers you just start to sing
And gave to me shelter under you wing

What can I do, how can I explain
Loving you was not an aimless game
All I have left is this one small refrain
You made me whole again
Track Name: Blown Me Away
We've been talking between the lines for several nights
And nothing that I've tried to say has come out right
I know I could be wrong but I hope to God I'm not
For some strange reason I can't seem to give up hope

Oh baby now you've blown me away

I've tried to sing this song now so many times
And I can't even tell if it reasons or it rhymes
I thought I felt this way so often before
That I don't know how I can be sure

So come and get me, I'm still waiting
Don't forget me, my mind is misbehaving

Well you seemed to be saying that you don;t want to know
So I had to stop pushing and I had to let you go
But the feelings I get whenever I see you
Just won't leave me alone, tell me what am I to do?

And it all seems so corny and it all seems so true
But how can I explain how I feel since I met you?
Some say it's blessed and some say it's blind
And some say it's an aberration ofthe mind